The facts are startling. One in three teens has experienced some form of abuse in his or her relationship. Abuse in teen relationships is often expressed differently than in adult relationships, which can make it hard to recognize. Because awareness is one of the best forms of prevention, Project DVORA runs several workshops to teach middle and high school students about how to build healthy partnerships and recognize the signs of potentially dangerous ones. Project DVORA’s most popular workshop, In Their Shoes, is based around the old adage you have to walk a mile in someone else’s in order to understand his or her experience.
This program — developed by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the parents of a 18-year-old woman killed by her ex-boyfriend — guides teens through six scenarios based on their peers’ lives. They work in pairs to play characters dealing with issues such as stalking, homophobia, sexting and pregnancy, and make decisions about their relationships based on interactions with friends, parents, teachers, counselors and police.
At the end of the exercise, the group comes together to discuss the characters’ experiences and analyze how the teens made decisions. Was the advice of friends favored over that of parents and teachers? Did the characters’ friends and family downplay the severity of the situation? What were the warning signs of an abusive relationship, and what resources were available if one chose to seek help? Collectively, the class explores different choices the characters could have made and potential outcomes of these decisions.
When Project DVORA ran the program for the Northwest School’s Peer Mentor Program, students explained that walking in their peers’ shoes helped them understand the severity and pervasiveness of abuse. Because students recognized pieces of themselves and their friends in the characters, they realized that anyone, regardless of race or socioeconomic background, could end up in an abusive relationship. A student commented, “I think I ‘knew’ the facts that we talked about. The thing that this activity did for me was really let those facts resonate in a way that they had not before”.
If you or someone you know is impacted by domestic violence, contact Project DVORA, (206) 461-3240 for confidential support.
Written by Jenelle Birnbaum
Violinist, hiker and all-around arts nerd Jenelle Birnbaum is the Marketing Coordinator and Web Administrator at JFS. Outside of that, she enjoys speaking French and vegan cooking.
Feature photo courtesy of Harry Thomas Photography.
