What does ‘renewal’ mean to you? For the participants at Project DVORA, it’s the process they’re in from the moment they decide to call us.
Just imagine… You’ve been living for years with a partner who controls your money. Controls who you see and talk to. Controls how you parent. Controls if and where you work, what you wear, and how you spend your every moment. There may be physical violence, and there is likely the threat of it. Your children are witness to all this and may be in danger as well. And, you are too afraid and ashamed to tell anyone.
Then one day, your partner threatens your life and your kids’ lives. You find a way to call JFS. We tell you, “We can help you make a safety plan, look for temporary housing, and give you food and money to make a break.” What would renewal mean to you then?
Recently, I sat with a woman who was in this situation. It was a stunning experience. The degree of control she’s lived under for so long is breath-taking. And, the fear she’s experienced and still experiences is palpable when we talk.
But what’s really stunning is the strength she’s had, the courage to stay until she can finally leave, and the ingenuity to make a plan to get herself and her children out. What’s stunning to me is that she can live temporarily in a hotel or a shelter, in cramped quarters with her children who are having their own feelings about it all. She’s maintaining hope while taking care of all the details of her life in that moment – not knowing where they’ll be next or how they’ll get food or how they’ll replace all they’ve left behind.
What’s stunning to me is the trust she’s placing in me. Not to tell her what to do, but to help her hold her story and to find her own way into a new life for her and her children. A life where she makes choices she didn’t have before, and choices she’s forgotten she knew how to make.
Stunning. Inspiring. Having the privilege to sit with our participants and share that moment to moment renewal with them. I am filled with gratitude.
By Brook Avidon
Brook is a photographer and artist. She loves to hang out by loud rivers. She is a licensed mental health counselor and also works as a domestic violence advocate with Project DVORA.
