Transitions can be stressful, and one of the major transitions families face is when kids head back to school. Families tend to face many of the same difficulties when it comes to keeping a schedule on track. Here are three of them, with some tips that can help return order and efficiency to your family’s life.
Getting everyone out the door.
The biggest complaint we hear is that it is a constant struggle and very stressful to get everyone out the door in the morning. So what can you do? Simplify! We recommend boiling the morning down to 4-8 tasks that your child needs to accomplish to leave for school. We suggest using a morning routine chart that you and your child create together.
Here are a few simple steps to creating a routine chart with your child:
- Have your child create a list of all the things they need to do in the morning before they leave.
- Help them scale it back to 4-8 tasks, based on age/ability.
- Take a picture of your child doing that task, or have them draw it.
- Let your child order the tasks.
- Mount or display the pictures somewhere accessible to children so they can manage it on their own, and it’s visible to everyone.
Now, let the chart do its job. You don’t need to keep asking, “Did you make your bed? Brush your teeth? Get your jacket?” Your job is to simply point to the chart and ask what is next. The more your child owns the chart and the process, the more success you will see during morning routines. But, don’t expect magic. This is a process and may take a few weeks before your child uses it independently.
Preparing lunches that get eaten.
Every child, school and family has their own lunch preferences. Have a conversation with your child around what the preferences are for all three so that you can create a lunchbox option list together. Start the conversation with school guidelines and restrictions. Some schools rule out things like nuts and candy. Talking about all the things your child might like that are not allowed will help them to understand and rule those items out from the lunch list.
Next, discuss what your family considers essential for lunch. Ask your child what they think is important to be consumed during each meal. You can then broaden and expand on their thoughts. It can be helpful to discuss the “why” behind your family choices. An example of this might sound like, “In our family we feel it is important to eat healthy foods (fruits, vegetables & proteins) to keep your body strong so you have the strength and energy to play on the playground during recess. And fruits and vegetables also help us to have energy and stay focused when doing work, like you do in the classroom during reading and math.”
Lastly, look at what your child actually enjoys eating. Make a list together or take them to the grocery store and let them point out what they would like to eat in their lunch.
Putting sleep routines back on track.
Summer nights – especially in the Pacific Northwest – are long. And who wants to go to bed when it looks like it’s still afternoon? However, staying up until 10 p.m. is not going to make for a school-ready child who is prepared to focus and learn at 8:30 a.m.
Try easing kids back into their sleep routines about a week before school starts. Pick up those old bedtime routines you may have let go of over the summer, or come up with new ones that work for everyone in the family. Routines keep everyone focused and tend to simplify our daily lives. Research has found that the human brain has evolved to feel calmed by repetitive behavior, and that our daily habits and routines are a primary way to manage stress. Why not make this part of the day less stressful and help everyone get the sleep they need to be alert and productive the next day?
By Melissa Benaroya
Melissa Benaroya, LICSW, has over 16 years of experience working with children and families and currently is a consultant, speaker and parent coach. She is co-founder of GROW Parenting, co-author of The Childproof Parent and founder of a 3700+ member web group. Melissa lives in the Seattle area with her husband and children and keeps her sanity with an active lifestyle of running and Crossfit!
Feature photo by Morgan.
