There was no word for mental illness in antiquity. Like the fear of death, the fear of slipping into mental anguish was as real in antiquity as it is in our times. We see this in the traditional Jewish liturgy of old. For example, in the most well-known prayer of the High Holidays, ‘Unetaneh Tokef,’ the congregation looks toward the upcoming year knowing that our fate is in the balance. We chant a litany of opposing fateful dyads, life or death, prosperity or poverty. The list includes ‘who will be troubled, who will be at peace’. Our ancestors feared what they understood as the “suffering of the soul.”
We are no different than our ancestors, but we have statistics. Approximately 61.5 million Americans or 25% of our population experience a mental illness in a given year. Three-quarters of mental illness begins by the age of 24. Yet, despite effective treatment, there are long delays−sometimes decades−between the first appearance of symptoms and when people get help.
Mental illness is a part of my reality. I lost a brother to suicide. I have a brother who lives with bipolar disorder. I am a parent of two children living with bipolar disorder. We have helped our loved ones through hospitalizations, bouts of severe depression and anguish over the costs and inadequacies of our complex mental health care system.
Mental illnesses are often episodic and chronic. Most important is that mental illness is almost always a family condition. Anyone who has cared for a loved one living with mental illness – or if you live with a mental illness – knows that it can completely change family dynamics. During an episode of serious mental illness, a person loses much of his or her capacity to handle basic daily life skills. A psychotic episode lands a person in the hospital, creating a severe family crisis and sudden dependency on unprepared family members.
Fortunately, there are resources. Many years ago I learned about the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) and its peer programs of support and advocacy, which had a major impact on my life. Through the NAMI Family-to-Family class, I learned the most up-to-date science on my loved ones’ conditions and the treatments for them. I built relationships with other families facing similar challenges and learned effective strategies of support, communication and problem solving. Most of all, I came away with hope and a long view on how to be a support for my loved one.
I was inspired after taking the class to take the training to become a Family-to-Family peer teacher. As someone who “has been through it,” I have had the privilege to help other families as they navigate the arduous path of caring for a loved one living with a mental illness.
One of the bitter truths about mental illness is that despite the advances in medication and treatment, there is still no cure for this condition. However, like the ancient Unetaneh Tokef prayer, I believe that one of the purposes of a Family-to-Family class and similar efforts are to avert the harsh decree that this illness carries.
I dedicate this writing to memory of my beloved father, Allan Gartenberg, who modeled for me empathy for others.
Get more information about NAMI Family-to-Family at JFS, facilitated by Rabbi Gartenberg and Farrell Adrian.
By Rabbi Dov Gartenberg
Rabbi Dov Gartenberg is rabbi of Panim Hadashot-The Heart of Shabbat. He served as Executive Director of NAMI-Juneau in Southeast Alaska from 2012 to 2015 before returning to Seattle this spring. He is a founder of Jewish Family Service’s Shaarei Tikvah program.
Feature image by Nick Matthews.
